The Dance of Intimacy
by Harriet Lerner
List Price: $14.00
Pages: none
Format: Paperback
ISBN: 006091646x
Publisher: HarperCollins
Relationships are supposed to be the source of women's greatest joy and satisfaction, but more frequently, they are the location of disappointment, pain, and just plain hard times.
Even the best relationships get stuck in too much distance (we stop talking together about things that matter) or too much intensity (we overfocus on the other things that matter) or too much intensity (we overfocus on the other person in an angry or worried way). And the more we try to change things-- or fix the other person-- the more they stay the same.
This book takes a careful look at relationships where intimacy is most challenged, be it with a husband, family member, lover, or best friend. It shows us specific changes to make to achieve a more solid sense of self and a more intimate connection with others. Whatever your definition of intimacy, The Dance of Intimacy will challenge and enlarge it.
Dr. Lerner explores the courageous acts of change we can make with key people in our lives; these will profoundly affect our sense of self and our ability to navigate closeness with others.
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3. Too often "acceptance of difference" (we can't change others, only ourselves) gets translated into an "anything goes" policy. Use case examples from the book to discuss. Remember that women have often had to choose between having a relationship and having a self. The challenge is to have both. Quotes for Discussion "Intimacy is not the same as intensity, although we are a culture that confuses these two words." (Page 2)
4. "Differences are the only way we learn. If our world-- or even our intimate relationships-- were comprised only of people idenitical to ourselves, our personal growth would come to an abrupt halt." (Page 71) "We cannot navigate clearly within a relationship unless we can live without it." (Page 219)
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