Everybody Wins
The Chapman Guide to Solving Conflicts Without Arguing
by Gary Chapman

List Price: $9.99
Pages: 128
Format: Hardcover
ISBN: 9781414300146
Publisher: Tyndale House Publishers

Every couple has disagreements. All too often, though, when we engage in arguments, our goal is not to resolve the conflict at hand, but rather, to win the fight. Unfortunately, when you win an argument, your spouse is the loser, and nobody wants to be or live with a loser. When you resolve a conflict, your spouse becomes your friend. Good marriages are based on friendship, not on winning arguments. Now, Gary Chapman provides couples with a simple blueprint for achieving win-win solutions to everyday conflicts and disagreements. By learning how to listen empathetically, respecting each other’s ideas and feelings, and understanding why particular issues are so important to their spouse, couples can find solutions that result not only in resolving the conflict at hand, but also leave both partners feeling loved, listened to, and appreciated.

top of the page

1. What do you find most painful about arguments?

2. What have arguments accomplished in your marriage?

3. Having an attitude of respect, love, and togetherness makes it possible to find win-win solutions to conflicts. How open are you to changing your attitudes?

4. Conflicts that are resolved in a positive way create intimacy. Can you think of a recent conflict that you resolved in a positive way? What made the resolution positive? If a recent conflict wasn’t resolved in a positive way, what kept you from reaching a resolution?

5. Once you understand your spouse, you have an opportunity to give an intelligent and loving response. How intelligent and how loving was your response in your most recent conflict with your spouse?

6. Can you think of an illustration where "meeting later" or "agreeing to disagree" became a permanent solution to one of your conflicts?

top of the page